.I barely have words to say.
By now you have probably heard the news. New York just passed a bill to legalize abortions through the ninth month of pregnancy, repeal protection for surviving babies of botched abortions, and allow non-physicians to perform abortions. Applause broke out in the NY Senate chamber as the "Reproductive Health Act" was passed.
This is heart-breaking.
My family and I have been on a life-giving mission since 2009. Since then I have been a Gestational Carrier (a.k.a surrogate) for three families dealing with infertility and carried five surrogate babies.
These families are not alone. One in 8 couples are struggling to conceive and carry a baby to term (1 in 6 over the age of 35). That's 12% of married couples who would give ANYTHING (and most do) to be pregnant and deliver a child. Tens of thousands of dollars, hundreds of injections, years of tears and prayers for a child.
Since I carried twins twice for two amazing families, I was considered "high risk" and had sonograms at almost every doctor's appointment. The parents of the babies were always at the appointments with me. Together we watched the sonogram screen to see their babies moving, stretching, sleeping, and sucking their thumb.
On the day they were born these babies were not new to us. They were NOT strangers, nor did they instantaneously become human beings at delivery. They had already been known, talked with, read to, loved on, prayed for, and wanted since day 1.... BIG TIME.
Life is a gift.
Millions of couples are praying to be pregnant.
Millions of couples are praying for what others take for granted.
If abortion is about choices, there are better options. A pregnant women can choose to move forward with motherhood or adoption.
There are many women out there unable to conceive and carry that would love for those women to choose adoption.
At the end of the day, abortion stops a beating heart.
This fact breaks my surrogate heart.
Please reconsider and overturn abortion laws.
Mom of two, Surrogate mom of 5
Tiffany Jo Baker MA, CLC
P.S. This is an actual sonogram picture of the fifth surrogate baby I carried. Already full of hope, joy and ready to change the world.
It's that time again. A kid-centered holiday, followed by the end of a year and beginning of another. For those of us who are in the fight for our dreams (whether it's a business, book, or my favorite, a baby), it can be a bitter-sweet season.
On the one hand, there is so much to be thankful for... the good times, open doors, blessings, loved ones, good reports, and a new beginning that comes with a new year. But on the other hand it can be a giant reminder of what is missing, the hard times, and what you still are believing for and working hard towards.
So how can we utilize and capitalize on this season well? How can we experience the blessings of this season and not let another moment be stolen from us? Well, here are some practical tips for making the most of these moments and turning your pain into a promotion of your relationships, expectations, and experiences.
Prepare how you will handle the questions during the holiday parties, events, and family reunions. If you are trying to conceive, that means being ready for those asking if you are pregnant yet, if you want children, or when are you going to have children. As you may know, this preparation can be used every single day of the year. Formulate a few “go-to” responses to questions and comments of this type. It can be as simple as a “I hope so,” “When the time is right,” or “Yes, would you believe with us in prayer for children.” For those dealing with other life stuff, the general questions like, What are you up to?, Where are you working?, and How's _____ going? are the things you need to be prepared to answer. A great way to answer these questions are with a faith-filled response to what you are believing for in 2019 instead of going into the list of what went wrong in 2018.
Predetermine how you will celebrate Christmas and the New Year. Depending on your journey and season, here are a few ideas of how you can celebrate (especially if you are TTC):
The key is to have things that you look forward to during the Holiday season!
I don’t think I need to expand too much on this, but this is a time that you should do something special for you! You may be saving for IVF or finances may be tight as you are building your new dream business, but you need to do something that will refresh you. A spa day, mani and pedi, new haircut, a bath, a restaurant of your choice, a special pair of shoes or handbag.
This can be a hard one. Plant seeds in others for your miracle or dream. What does this mean? I’m sure you have heard the principle of sowing and reaping. Sow seeds of love, service, or finances in others. Focus some part of the season on others. That may be through volunteering at an outreach or donating to an Angel Tree, Single Mom, local Toy Drive or Adoption/Fertility Treatment Fundraiser. Be a piece of the puzzle for someone else to get their miracle and watch how God does a miracle for you.
If you need to cry or grieve, do it--- but don’t stay there long. Use this season as a time to refocus with your spouse where you are at on the journey, where you want to go, and what you are willing to do or not do to get there. Get yourself in the position to move forward, whether that is taking a break, trying something new, going a different route, or continuing on the path you have been going with a faith-filled and positive outlook.
These five P's are priceless and can allow you to turn your pain from last year into positioning yourself for promotion next year.
Surround yourself with love, support, joy, and peace. That will look different for everyone, but it will start with you. Be kind to yourself in this season and every day next year.
p.s. Want tips, treats and timely words to help you love your life, live your dreams, and leave a legacy delivered to your inbox just when you need it most? Simply text LIVE IT to 444999
Tiffany Jo Baker is a 3x surrogate, speaker, coach, confidante and cheerleader to help you birth your dreams.
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