It’s that time again. A kid-centered holiday, followed by the end of a year and beginning of another. For those of us who are in the fight for our dreams (whether it’s a business, book, or my favorite, a baby), it can be a bitter-sweet season.
On the one hand, there is so much to be thankful for… the good times, open doors, blessings, loved ones, good reports, and a new beginning that comes with a new year. But on the other hand it can be a giant reminder of what is missing, the hard times, and what you still are believing for and working hard towards.
So how can we utilize and capitalize on this season well? How can we experience the blessings of this season and not let another moment be stolen from us? Well, here are some practical tips for making the most of these moments and turning your pain into a promotion of your relationships, expectations, and experiences.
Prepare how you will handle the questions during the holiday parties, events, and family reunions. If you are trying to conceive, that means being ready for those asking if you are pregnant yet, if you want children, or when are you going to have children. As you may know, this preparation can be used every single day of the year. Formulate a few “go-to” responses to questions and comments of this type. It can be as simple as a “I hope so,” “When the time is right,” or “Yes, would you believe with us in prayer for children.” For those dealing with other life stuff, the general questions like, What are you up to?, Where are you working?, and How’s _____ going? are the things you need to be prepared to answer. A great way to answer these questions are with a faith-filled response to what you are believing for in 2019 instead of going into the list of what went wrong in 2018.
Predetermine how you will celebrate Christmas and the New Year. Depending on your journey and season, here are a few ideas of how you can celebrate (especially if you are TTC):
Allow you and your spouse to enjoy Christmas like a kid again! Who says you can’t have cookies ready for Santa, wear adult footy PJ’s and have photos taken with Santa?!?!
Have boundaries and create your own traditions! Instead of going to everyone else’s kid-filled parties and activities, invite your friends over for a fun Christmas party or activity just for adults!
Create a Christmas Bucket List for you and your spouse, family or BF! Sit down with your spouse and make a list of 3-5 things you want to do this season and enjoy making memories!
The key is to have things that you look forward to during the Holiday season!
I don’t think I need to expand too much on this, but this is a time that you should do something special for you! You may be saving for IVF or finances may be tight as you are building your new dream business, but you need to do something that will refresh you. A spa day, mani and pedi, new haircut, a bath, a restaurant of your choice, a special pair of shoes or handbag.
This can be a hard one. Plant seeds in others for your miracle or dream. What does this mean? I’m sure you have heard the principle of sowing and reaping. Sow seeds of love, service, or finances in others. Focus some part of the season on others. That may be through volunteering at an outreach or donating to an Angel Tree, Single Mom, local Toy Drive or Adoption/Fertility Treatment Fundraiser. Be a piece of the puzzle for someone else to get their miracle and watch how God does a miracle for you.
If you need to cry or grieve, do it— but don’t stay there long. Use this season as a time to refocus with your spouse where you are at on the journey, where you want to go, and what you are willing to do or not do to get there. Get yourself in the position to move forward, whether that is taking a break, trying something new, going a different route, or continuing on the path you have been going with a faith-filled and positive outlook.
These five P’s are priceless and can allow you to turn your pain from last year into positioning yourself for promotion next year.
Surround yourself with love, support, joy, and peace. That will look different for everyone, but it will start with you. Be kind to yourself in this season and every day next year.